F1 Spring Cleaning

With another F1 Season over it's an apt time to salute those who will no longer be racing with us in the future. I'm not talking about anybody dying just those who let's just say "haven't met the standards" and who are now being quietly asked to leave. This week the fickle spotlight of F1 stardom focuses on the unloved Virgin; Luca Di Grassi. The now former Virgin F1 driver has been replaced by Jerome D’Ambrosio and even the sub bench that is the test driver role has been taken by unknown quantity Luiz Razia. So what now for Di Grassi? It's sad to think how excited he must have been when Virgin F1 gave him the call last January to say he had reached the pinnacle of motorsport. He had an impressive few seasons in GP2 and tested for Honda and Renault before joining Virgin F1. In January 2010 at the initial tests at Silverstone he said excitedly "I'm really happy and our first impressions of the car are very positive". His best result of the season was 14th in Malaysia but he crashed before the Japanese GP on his way to the grid (main pic). Would he have thought that when he finished 18th at the last race of the season in Abu Dhabi that it would be the last time he would race an F1 car? After the race he said in desperation "I am ending the year with a feeling of ‘mission accomplished’ - I did the best I could with what I had and only one or two mistakes during the whole season, so I feel that the effort and quality of my work have been much better than is reflected in the raw results". Now, instead of a new contract he has got one of those abhorrent corporate blurbs from the team; “Finally, I must thank Lucas Di Grassi for the important role that he also played in establishing the team. He contributed a great deal to our development and we wish him every success in his future career, which we have no doubt will be an exciting one.” Oh what tosh! Poor Di Grassi; maybe he'll get a last minute seat with another team although frankly Virgin F1 was already pretty much bottom of the pile so options are limited. Like the ghosts of oh so many drivers through the years it looks like Di Grassi's is just the very latest. In one interview he was asked how would like to be remembered as an F1 driver. He replied "As the guy who was completely focused and who did everything he could to have the best performance he possibly could". Hmm. sadly I doubt we'll remember him at all, good bye Luca, best of luck.

Piquet not that bad after all

Despite being central in one of the most despicable acts of unsportsmanship of all time young Nelson Piquet earned back some credit after fighting Renault all the way through the courts to quash allegations against him that he intended to blackmail Renault into offering him a new contract. To explain the background briefly; Piquet agreed to crash on purpose at the 2008 Singapore GP in order to bring out a safety car which would result in his teammate, Alonso, winning the race. Renault issued the order vicariously through Renault boss Flavio Briatore, since banned. Renault issued a statement claiming Piquet intended to reveal Renault's dastardly plan unless they gave him a contract for the following season. Renault were telling lies. It turns out Piquet was quite happy to crash to simply help the team and had nothing to do with securing a new contract (which he never got in the end). So anyway all this simply means that Piquet was vilified even more than he should have been thanks to Renault's accusations. Its all a sorry mess really but there is a modicum of relief in the knowledge that amongst all the mudslinging, including hyperbolic claims that lives were put in danger because of the intentional crash, the truly outrageous stuff can be filtered out.

See the crash:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZrCVbU6pWQ

Drug Testing the Racers

A sad revelation came about this week with the very rare news of a race driver being banned for doping. To make matters worse it occured to an Irishman engaged in a sport which is steadily improving in Ireland. John Reilly was banned for 2 years after testing positive for boldenone at Mondello Race Track this September subject to his right to appeal. Details available are thin so it is important that the incident is put in context. Was it intentional or was it accidentally taken via a prescribed medicine? The real question in all this however; is how it hasn't happened more often in the general sporting world. Relative to athletics or cycling those competing in Motorsport are not subject to much drug test at all. One would assume that the lack of testing in all sport in general would mean that there is very little way we would find out if somebody were consuming a banned substance. The other question is what kind of advantage would doping truly give to a race driver? Physical endurance is an element of motorsport but it is guile, an eye for detail and racecraft that plays a far more critical role. This leads one to assume that the little known John Reilly was either misinformed or foolish. Either way he has been unfortunate enough to become an example to every other competing racer in the country of what not to do.

Budget - Scrappage Scheme

Looking through the swathes of awful headlines in this year's budget there is relief (pardon the pun wha'?!) that the Scrappage Scheme has been extended by 6 months until June 30th. "In the light of its success, the car scrappage scheme introduced last year will be extended for a further six months to 30 June 2011. The VRT relief provided in that period will be up to a reduced maximum of €1,250". Car dealerships throughout the country will be rubbing their hands at the prospect of shifting some new metal this January. There is also good news for those of a green demeanour with the news that relief on hybrid vehicles and flexible fuel vehicles is to be extended to December 2012.

Top Gear Live

You may have heard that the Top Gear boys were back in town this weekend and then quickly wondered why? Reports of underwhelmed visitors to last years show meant one of two things would happen: The show would be cancelled or it would be hugely improved. Unfortunately neither has happened. First impressions of the show were quite impressive in fact. Walking to the show centre felt similar to the festival experience of a summer music festival with coarse fields, fast food trailers and a big wheel but also long tail backs in traffic. And there was no shortage of motor geeks included which led to an overall impression of a gathering of like minded enthusiasts ready for a day out. Despite the numerous stands, exotic cars and very impressive main building there was a sense that €59 (minimum ticket price) was slipping meekly through ones fingers. There were some interesting cars on display including the latest Peugeot RCZ, a collection of fine Jordan F1 cars and the only Alfa 8C in the country. There was also an outdoor track (car park with cones) where some race cars, such as Eoin Murray's Seat Leon EuroCup, got a run. Truth be told the live outdoor track show was a non-event with a huge bulk of time spent simply waiting for the next car to appear. The main draw though was the live show itself. The overall seating was impressive, as was the lighting and thunderous sound system. And when the the trio of presenters emerged there was a sense that something pretty cool was about to happen. And then it all began to unravel. Toilet humour, especially when scripted, especially when done in front of a live audience and especially when its so desperately unfunny as it was with these guys should just be left at the drawing board. For example; demonstrating that a pizza can used to protect ones genitals from a Bunsen burner. Then the trio began to find their rhythm and match it with the audiences'. Laughter and applause were in plentiful supply and the "cool wall" section went down a treat. The similarity of the experience with the actual t.v. series is to be complimented. The background visuals, in particular for a cartoon heroesque Stig, made a real impact. With such a small"stage" however; there would be little room for some really dazzling stunt driving and the audience were left with petite choreographed manoeuvres. As to what was actually shown during the show, here's a flavour: Electric vehicles "built" by the presenters, JCB versus man on motorbike & lady firing petrol at 2 cars which go on fire. On paper this all sounds dazzling but in live action it seemed muted. One shouldn't need to stifle a yawn whilst watching 4 "shuttle-cars" drive around a gyrating lady with whips as Dizzee Rascal's "Bonkers" blares in the background. The lasting experience from the festival, and it can be justifiably called a festival, is that the show's organisers were serious about immersing the crowd in an intoxicating motoring experience but ultimately one felt short changed and in the mood for flicking through the channels to see what else might be on instead.

Womens' Cars

I was given a verbal broadside last week whilst eating with some friends. Jennifer asked "why don't you write about women's cars?". Hmm, alright Jennifer, I will.

But is there even a woman's car? Is there a man's car? I think there's just cars and then from that point there are cars certain people like more than other cars. All cars are created unequal in the marketing room down at HQ. One thing the Geneva Marketing Exec. will point out is that women actually have a far bigger impact on car choice than most men will like to admit. Mr. Man may want a large coupe but Mrs. Woman may think a hatchback is easier for manoeuvrability around town. Likewise if Mrs Woman wants that funky Fiat 500 Mr. Man will want the super fast Abarth version and she'll say that's a waste of cash; as in "who cares about an engine anyway?" The result in this typical situation will be an argument followed by the purchase of a crummy four door saloon. "Why have just two doors when you can have four?!". Life is about more than value propositions. "Buy one get one free" doesn't mean you need to buy that "one" to begin with. I'm straying here, let's get back to woman's cars.

Now before the equality council rush at me let me just say that women look cool in pretty much any car on the planet. For example even in the flashest, gruntiest cabriolet on the market a woman will still look way cooler than a man ever can because the world will look at the creature behind the wheel and admire her ability to handle such a beast. If a man tries the same feat they just attract suspicions of impotency. At the same though I've driven with enough females by now that I have discovered some home truths (hang on feminists!):

Women like to see everything around the car. This has led to a surge in needlessly tall vehicles which have proven wildly popular with women, think Nissan Qashqai and Land Rover Freelander. Blind spots are out; therefore so are rear spoilers, estate cars, blocky window pillars and any vehicle longer than 8 feet.

Vanity will never get in the way of manoeuvrability. You can buy a woman a Ferrari Enzo for her birthday and she'll secretly hate you for not getting her a Mini instead. If it can't be parallel parked like a shopping trolley it's not worth owning.

Performance means nothing. 500 bhp? Pointless. Rear wheel drive? Don't even ask. Mid-engined? That means the boot is not where it's meant to be. I've never met a woman who wanted more power than is necessary to get up a steep hill in 1st gear. The associated fuel bill will add further disapproval.

When it comes to looks; less is more. To women alloy wheel are nothing more than components to keep tyres connected to the car. Aggressive front ends are simply that: aggressive, and unnecessarily so too. Colour, incredibly, will have a far bigger influence on a woman's desire for a car than any other component. Show a woman the same car in black and red and she will be adamant that they are different cars altogether.

Now through the process of elimination we can begin to see what a perfect woman's car might be like. It will be small, frugal, nimble and subtly attractive, maybe in red or white. Think Volvo C30; Audi TT or Fiat 500. At the same time though there are woman out there pining for a something stereotypically masculine-aggressive like a Lamborghini LP640 in stealth black. There is no "woman's" just like there is no "man's car but if you have all the money in the world to buy your loved one a car in January buy her the new Range Rover Evoque.

Due for release in the new year the Evoque is cute, tall, easy to manoeuvre, petite (in a vulgar SUV way), frugal and available in white. The fact that Range Rover, the 4 wheel drive experts, have made available a 2wd vehicle says everything about how & why this car was created.

Deep breath... "let the equality council in!"

From Brawn to Bust

As the anniversary of Brawn GP winning the 2009 Constructor's Championship passed last week there was very little mention of it in the media. Perhaps it's because Mercedes GP, who bought Brawn GP, don't want to give PR to the success of it's predecessor. A more plausible reason, however; is that Ross Brawn has come down to earth with a bang this season with his efforts for Mercedes resulting in 4th place in the final standings. Not much to shout about there. At this stage Brawn GP is thought of in sepia tinted memories, the glory story of 2009 when Ross Brawn dragged the bones of Honda onto the 2009 grid to become Champions. But since then the bespectacled one has stepped back into the giant shadow of Mercedes and has been pushing the buttons to try to make them Champions instead. Unfortunately its not working; not that anything in F1 comes easy mind, a gestation period is normal for any new team trying to make an impact. Perhaps we mention Ross so little now because Michael Schumacher has been attracting all of Mercedes' bad headlines for him. When the 7 time Champion came out of retirement we expected a swift high-five from Ross and that the proven ex-Ferrari combination would mean the champagne would soon flow once more. Alas it's been a trying season for the German but one where he has improved as the season progressed. From the nadir of Singapore Schumacher has found his way out of the naughty corner and into serious points territory. You may recall Red Bull finished off the 2009 season in similar strong form which was carried right through to this season. If that's a reliable precedent then Schumacher should make huge inroads in 2011. And if that happens you can expect to see the once familiar sight of Ross Brawn on the podium collecting the trophies. In the meantime though the feats of 2009's Brawn GP should not be forgotten. Although 2010 has been unkind to Mercedes GP a mind like Ross Brawn's will never rest on laurels.

New BMW 6 Series

Carrying on a tradition of svelte low keyed power houses is never easy but BMW seem to have done it again. Whilst the pictures might not jump out at like a Ferrari would it's the delicious details that should live in the memory. One such example is the indented line running off the front wheel arch towards the back, the exact opposite to car design from the seventies. The new 6 carries the current 3 series coupe rear end. Gone forever is that controversial "sliced" boot lid but that very feature will make it a future classic. Thankfully the rear window buttresses do remain although they're unlikely to be used on the Coupe version. Overall the coupe looks ordinary at first glance but the fact that it's brimming with the latest running gear coupled with BMW's relatively understated approach to luxury will make this a very enjoyable car to live with. Expect a mind bending M-verison some time in the future.

He Actually Won It

After a season of ups, downs and unthinkables the final stamp on this year's season fell in favour of the one everybody thought would win it when the season began. Despite failing to lead the Championship all year until crossing the line in Abu Dhabi young Vettel made it count when it mattered: at the end.

What we expected was the defining moment of a brilliant season when 4 contenders would split to reveal 1 Champion. But what we weren't really contemplating was that the Champion would be the guy who seemed to throw it away so often. So much so that we no longer could take him seriously. And yet for all the permutations and romanticism of an ageing Webber making the final glorious capture; or Alonso showing what Ferrari were made of; or of Hamilton tip toeing through the field to rhythmic glory; in the end what we ended up with was the sight of the wonder kid coolly bringing his car from start to finish to complete the job. Done.

The F1 circus will be delighted to see a new constructor set in history with the established names. And yet they will also feel downbeat because Vettel is a name we know will become synonymous with winning for perhaps 15 more years. The time for Webber was today and today will soon be yesterday, a yesterday forever remembered in F1 history books as the one that Webber did not win. As for Alonso, his time will come again but the Tifosi will fume at what could have been.

The race started spectacularly when Shumacher spun into the first chicane and ended up facing 15,000 bhp of F1 fury full on. Unfortunately Liuzzi seized the opportuniy to add to his sizeable crash record and promptly smashed into the Mercedes. Ugly memories of the death of Henry Surtees came back when the Force India seemed at first to have wedged Shumacher's helmet to the cockpit. Thankfully all was fine but then again Hakkinen's fright at the start of the Brazilian Gp a few years ago secretly prompted him to retire from the sport. As the 42 year old looks at the heir sit down at what once was his throne, is this the final straw for the Great One? Without even a solitary Podium this year perhaps he'll think the time has come.

During the resultant safety car period the Renaualts made their pit stops, a move which would ultimately lead to Alonso's demise. Alonso had seemed to play it logically when he shadowed Webber's every move knowing that if they finished near each other then Alonso would emerge as Champion. And yet in hindsight it seems so daft. When an F1 stalwart like Ferrari takes its eye off a blazing Red Bull piloted by a multiple race winner and Championship contender then its asking for trouble. And no Italian could've anticipated just how much trouble. The tactic worked in the sense that Alonso ended up beating Webber in the Championship table. However; it failed in that he got stuck behind two resilient Renaults from lap 16.

It didn't help that the junior Red Bull team were complicit in allowing its elders through and making a difficult time for Alonso & Massa. There will be conspiracists pointing to the fact that Red Bull, who are powered by Renault engines, were given a very significant advantage by the Renault factory team. On the surface every giddy scrap of logical thinking will get some limelight in a season as close as this. But Red Bull created their own luck (and I'm not referring to their Junior Team) and Vettel his. The German slowly strangled both Alsonso and Webber whilst grinning from the front of the field.

And so we have a new Champion, a new Constructor and much to ponder over the winter. In the end we were all left a little stumped that the prodigy had actually gone and won the thing. At 23. Are we meant to be this surprised? Perhaps it will all make sense as we ponder it at leisure over the winter. What a great season!

Motorspeak on Cartell

The folks at Cartell have kindly included me in their blog section. Check it out for some interesting reads!

http://www.cartell.ie/category/blog/

Hulkenberg on Pole

Frank Williams wound back the clock with a vintage Pole Position for tomorrow's Brazilian Grand Prix courtesy of the previously underwhelming Nico Hulkenberg. The German rookie made the most of a drying track to secure fastest lap twice in his last 2 runs. In his wake came the Red Bulls again showing no signs of leaving the front row for 2010. McLaren had a mixed bag with Hamilton doing well to start in 4th whilst Button will start 11th. Championship leader Alonso secured 5th on the grid to give a fighting chance. When the lights go out for tomorrow's race expect some fun from a track which more often than not produces a lively race.

The Scariest Car!!!

With Halloween upon us I thought it might be an appropriate time to ring out the most fearsome cars about our streets eek!

First off let’s just give this lot a honorable mention:

Taxis: The risk of being sucked into some mindless drivel about the cost of a spare tyre is terrifying, especially on a long journey.

Rolls-Royces: Oh sure they’re dandy to look at but even as you stand in front of one you know that the car is depreciating by a Euro every tick tock second. Frightening.

Boy Racers: So many different aspects to be scared of; whether it’s being cut off by one,
talking to one or even having to look at the horrific paintwork on one.

Granny’s: Now this might be a bit ageist but it’s rare if you don’t wince as the old dear tries to manoeuvre her Micra around a cowering dog tied to a pole.

Government Cars: You know that lurking behind that tinted glass there are the most evil people in this land.

So now to the Top 3 Scariest most Spooky cars of them all!

3. The Pontiac Aztek
It’s looks could force a man question humanity. Just LOOK at it!

2. 1960's Chevy Corvette:

Aggressive angles everywhere. The definitve "evil" car.

3. Dodge Viper ACR
An 8.somthing litre engine and a built spec that gives two fingers to environmentalism and build quality. Designed to beat you and anybody else within crashing range.

The Sun is Setting on the 2010 F1 Season

I couldn't help but be drawn to the light, or absence thereof, at the end of Sunday's Grand Prix. As the cars parked alongside each other in the dusk of South Korea there was a sense that a battle had been fought out in the Korean wilderness and that at the end of a long hard day Alonso had come out tired but victorious. The interruptions, the delays, the crashes, the exhaustion and the confusion of the new track made this race feel like the 12th round of a boxing match with 5 contenders holding on for their right to fight to the last in Abu Dhabi. Button came out with a bloody nose and his title hopes in tatters after finishing 12th. But the Red Bulls... well where do I begin?! Another front row grid locked out and nothing to show for it. I'll be honest, when the Red Bulls first started to throw points away at the start of the season I secretly revelled in it because their speed was so apparent I knew they would sooner or later vanquish all the opposition and we'd be left today with a clear Championship winner. Yet their ability to literally blow it (their engines) and crash into things has meant this year will be a Championship of attrition. That's a little harsh on Vettel though. He has found a confidence of late to brush aside theories of a weak mind and has simply put the car in the lead of races; he was badly let down in Korea. Hamilton did his usually knack of declaring his title hopes over before the weekend only to be firmly back in the running by Sunday evening. Whilst Alonso proved why he's a two time World Champion by staying out of trouble and putting his stamp on what was a foreign race track to every driver. Maths time: 25 points separate 4 drivers (that's just 10 points in old money), with just 2 races left. The cream is rising to the top. Will Button be serving the servants at McLaren by propping up Hamilton in Brazil? Will Alonso's last engine hold out for Abu Dhabi? And will this be the best Championship for a generation?

A Lot of Money Goes a Little Way

Riches, contacts & marketability; no these aren’t just the rewards in motor sport, these are the criteria needed to get into it.

For those of less affluent origin, however, international motorsport exemplifies one of the hardest sporting disciplines to break into. Eddie Jordan sait it best when asked how to make a small fortune in Formula 1; "start with a big fortune".

Who would be racing now if money wasn’t an issue? Would Schumey or Makkinen have been so dominant? For youths wishing to assess their footballing skills, one acquires a flat area, a spherical object, and uses his/her legs to kick it. Becoming a racing driver, on the other hand, requires money, opportunity and fierce determination. The administrative efforts alone of finding sponsors and a suitable class are enough to put even the most ardent talent off; the cost should take care of most parents’ enthusiasms.

How many spectacles have we missed due to these hurdles? Alternatively, how many lame drivers have we had to endure due to sponsor hungry team owners? Mr.Baumgartner, anyone?

But some wealthy drivers have added enormously to international motorsport. Jochen Rindt inherited riches to become F1’s only posthumous champion. Stephane Peterhansel was no beggar either. Messrs Hill & Villeneuve had cash along with the right surname.

Going the money route isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but that’s not to say it should be the most adequate option for an aspiring driver to take. A driver shouldn’t be at the top just because he can afford it; he should be there because he is allowed to, because the only barrier in his way is belief. And this is the problem, drivers who want the opportunity, don’t get it; not because of lack of talent, but lack of resources. That was the case fifty years ago. That was the case thirty years ago. This is still the case today.

Jaysus it's about time I got cracking on a new post for MotorSpeak. I've been busy beating off the recession with a short stick trying to get a job and alas I succeeded. Good thing: money. Bad thing: less time to ponder on those little car things that make you go "oh yeah...". For example; I misssed all the hubub at this year's Paris motorshow. Basically les bleus put on a gig that would make Bono curious. Highs? Crazy carbon Lamborghini Gallardo (in other words it's due to be replaced very shortly so let's distract the public with this for now). Jaguar reportedly "stole" the show with it's CX75 hybrid concept which is really a load of hot air and pointless. Then there was the usual drub of french micro cars that nobody really cares about; Peugeot 508 anybody? NO! Audi did a retro version of it's iconic Quattro rally car but it looks like it will be the strict preserve of grown up losers who got rich. On the plus the latest BMW 6-series was unveiled. Now I know I'm always harping on about BMW's but its because 9 times out of 10 they do it right. And with the 6 series they usually have a future classic on their hands. So it was with mild disappointment that it had lost a little of it's daring Bangle style and character. But then again these things age like wine, I didn't really like the last 6-series at first either. Alright so what else have I missed? Lotus have gone ballistic and scrapped not only it's entire range but it's entire ethos. Out goes the concept of "adding lightness" and in comes a soft anonymous line of silhouettes; time will tell. Oh yeah, Mercedes brought in the 2nd gen CLS. Now the first one was sweet. End of ok? So the second one has a lot to live up to. If it had gone for the original style language with full vigour (see pic) it would've looked great but in production form all the panel gaps ruins the purity of it all which end up making it look like a big bulky mess. I'd still buy one though. Right, enough for now, check out the Jap Gp in the morning it's always good.

Race of Attrition

It's nice to be able to talk about a Grand Prix in terms of it's significance to the overall Championship as opposed to the merits of the race itself because very often the former is inapplicable. Yet again somebody, somewhere, jumbled the numbers up to ensure that there are still 5 players in the chase for this year's crown. Following his straightforward victory in Monza 2 weeks earlier Alonso again engineered a calculated & determined push to the finish line which puts him in the unlikely position of 2nd in the Championship having thrown points away in China and Monaco before. As the for the race itself I was slightly reluctant to get too involved in what was sure to be a very very long race, in fact the maximum cut-off time for a race of 2 hours was avoided by all of 2m 7secs. However; what emerged was a race of strategy, getting the best from a bad start and another sharing out of the points. Vettel finished 2nd despite having a quicker car but was surely happy to bank solid points instead of embarrassing headlines. Webber would've been more happy with his performance having taken a safety-car gamble to jump him from 5th on the grid to a podium. Button made the most of a McLaren that seems to be losing the technical war as the season reaches a crescendo by finishing 4th. As for his team mate, well... Hamilton will be angry and miserable in equal measure after he was punted out of the race after a passing move on Webber when he didn't leave enough room for 2 cars to emerge from one apex. So what do you need to know coming out of this race? 25 points separate the top 5 drivers in the table, there are 4 races left and still no team leader roles have emerged from Red Bull or McLaren. At this point in the season it's worth recalibrating our mental arithmetic bearing in mind the points system was changed at the begining of the season. Using last year's system the top 5 drivers would be separated by 10 points. Unthinkable! But it's a reality, may the good times roll on. Media friendly Lewis Before and After:

F1 Car vs Le Mans Car: Who Wins?

Have you ever seen a Le Man car in action? If you've ever looked at images of one up close you'll see that this obtuse lumbering oddity is in fact an amazing piece of cutting edge technology. When you see the level of attention lavished on each carbon fibre element you could be forgiven for thinking that it seemed to share the same workings of an F1 car but with a different suit on. And I don't mean in a road-car way. I mean in a "this car could have a serious go at showing an F1 car how it's done" kind of way. Which brings me to the title of this blog, just how far apart/close are these two spheres of motorcraft? F1 and Le Man cars are conceived and born in totally different manners and yet the ultimate difference between the two is remarkably small. A Le Man car is designed to go extremely fast, for up to 24 hours at a time and usually designed for just one circuit, namely Le Mans. When you count up the cost of the R&D, manufacturing and overheads of such an operation it seems even more expensive next to the already ludicrously expensive F1 series. An F1 car is designed around a much tighter set of rules (such as wing lengths and tyre types), is the result of a progression from previous designs in F1 seasons and are expected to last for up to 2 hours around a variety of global circuits. So which is faster? For those of you expecting an upset, I'm sorry. The F1 car is in real terms faster. Around a twisty track the F1 car will run rings around a LMP (Le Mans Prototype). However; the one saving grace for the LMP is that it probably has a higher top speed than an F1 car and could also run at higher revs for a longer period. A track with a good mixture of straights and turns is the beloved Spa Francorchamps Circuit in Belgium so a look at the lap times from there would be useful. The Pole time at this year's Le Mans Series was set in a Peugeot 908 HDi with a time of 1m 57.884s. The Pole time at this year's F1 race was set by Mark Webber's Red Bull at 1m 45.778s and that was set in a borderline wet conditions. So that's a difference of around 12 seconds, how? Before I go into the details let's not forget that being 12 seconds slower than a state of the art F1 car around a long circuit is not to be sniffed at! The LMP cars weigh more and have less power which effects acceleration, cornering and braking. Le Mans cars also prefer not to overstretch the engine for endurance events and will therefore have less wing to ensure less revs on the straights. So there you have it folks: An F1 car is indeed faster than a Le Mans car but it would not last long in an endurance event. Who knows, perhaps in ten years time when the F1 law makers tighten regulations up even further (smaller engine capacity, grooved tyres etc.) we may see the day when the mighty Le Man car can match an F1 car for pace as well as endurance!

MAMA MIA!

Ferrari. At Monza. Winning. Awesome! If you ever get a chance to see an F1 race I'd guarantee this place would be a very nice start. Monza is part of a triumvirate of the best F1 tracks along with Monaco and Spa. There's something delicious about watching a 200mph carbon machine balancing on the edge of an apex as prancing horse flags float in the background. Oh yeah; Alonso won which brings him right back in to the sharp end of the drivers championship. I guess I should balance out all this enthusiasm by declaring the race tended to be a little lacking on the race-craft front. Most of the race's action occurred on the first lap when Button flicked his wrist and said toodledo to Messrs Ferrari whilst further back Hamilton was testing the limits of his suspension strength by breaking it in with the help of a Ferrari sidepod. Alas that's how it stayed for the first half of the race, Button in first with Alonso right behind followed by Massa. We all hoped for a glorious pass by the Ferrari to claim first place but unfortunately it occurred during the pit stops. Boo. Then they raced to the flag. Not that the tifosi really cared, if the car is red you are a God in Monza. Witness the scenes of McLaren driver Mika Hakkinen being decimated by fans after he crashed out of the '99 race at the height of the championship battle. No such drama required today Alonso did the job and is firmly back in contention. Does this championship get any better? Button and Vettel crashed out at the last race in Belgium and this weekend Hamilton and Webber screwed up. Its as if they're each taking turns to crash/win just so that the championship will have to go down to the wire in Abu Dhabi on November 14th.

False Starts Revisited

I should be an FIA steward! After an article I published recently (see below) about the lack of false starts in F1 these days it turns out they have been happening all along except that nobody, not even the race stewards, have noticed! Check out the link: http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/03092010/58/fia-investigate-massa-false-start.html

5 Become 2?

I wanted to report on the Belgium GP this weekend but there was nothing really to say except that instead of having 5 solid contenders we now only have 2. Sure there were crashes a plenty, rain and one of the best tracks but when the flag fell there seemed to be an overwhelming sense that the season's end was nearing and with it the fact that as each race goes by the real business of who will be champion becomes sharply focused. Webber and Hamilton are prime candidates, despite the latter's arsey comment earlier in the week that he felt his championship hopes were hanging by a thread when he was second in the championship. Anyway he's fine. Somebody who isn't though is Button after his car was attacked, shark like, by an exuberant Vettel who himself has cast doubt on his own championship chances. This could mean Red Bull & McLaren might decide its about time to back one driver for the greater good. Alonso doesn't have that problem as his teammate Massa was useless for the first half of the season but on the other hand Alonso is seriously adrift of the leaders in the championship so maybe who cares. That's it really. The net has tightened and the whole lot go to Monza knowing that sooner or later their chance of championship victory will narrow further unless something dramatic happens.

Speed Not Captured Well On TV

There's a lot to be said for being present at an F1 track to truly appreciate just how loud, imposing and above all FAST the cars move. The reason I mention this is that TV very rarely catches this sense of speed and as a result the true spectacle of F1 is not captured for us to enjoy. This might not seem like a big deal but if it could be captured well it would do so much to compensate for any boring races that come along because you simply engross yourself in the technology on show instead. It's often said that F1 is at the leading edge of technology so how come the audience doesn't care about it? It's because unless we can sense this technology in action all we care about instead is the racing spectacle alone and when this is sometimes not so great we say the sport is "boring". It is difficult to judge how fast a car is going on the television unless it produces a spark at high speed or hits some track debris. How many times have you watched an F1 car coming head on down the pit straight as it seems to sit perfectly still in the middle of the setting only for your eye lids to begin getting heavy. I feel it is a duty of the F1 taskmasters to use their technical skills to really shake us up when see the cars in action. But how? At the moment the best angles for capturing speed are either on board as the scenery goes by (especially narrow track or ones with trees nearby) or else overhead shots via helicopter which show just how much distance is being covered so very quickly. But these are typically punctuated by scenic long range shots where frankly its hard to decipher whats going on, especially at the start of a race when we have a head on shot of the grid meaning we can only see the two front row cars and then a whole load of obscure movement in the background. As always though there will be ample views of the 50x50 foot Marlboro poster to cover up half your screen! My thoughts turned to the recent Tour de France coverage and also athletics for the solution where they use a camera on rails running adjacent to the road/track at the same speed as the riders/athletes. This really captures the sense of acceleration and exhilaration experienced by those taking part. Of course having a crash helmet won't help motor sports in this regard but you get the idea! But imagine if you will having such a camera running the length of the pit straight racing along with the F1 cars. As you see the hive of activity flash by you would begin to realise that racing at 200mph is a lot faster than you thought. For example; if you've ever been karting people tend to say "they seem to be going so much slower" once they've had a go. And that's just my point we need to shine the spotlight on the expensive "go faster" part of motor sports which are so often hidden beneath the engine cover so that we can not only balk at the speeds achieved but also at the talent used to race them.

Start Your Honda Engines!

On yet another erstwhile afternoon of channel surfing I came across live coverage of IndyCar racing. It's basically a hosed down version of F1 where all the teams use the same chassis and engines and people called Will Power drive (I'm not making that up). Anyway with the pre-race build up well under way for the Honda Indy 200 at Mid-Ohio it came to the point where some balding account manger from an appliance corporation gets to say the "start your engines" bit. But then something felt wrong because what I heard him actually say was "Gentlemen, start your Honda engines". I'm not kidding. Even in the most capitalist country on the planet one would assume that the original phrase was, and it sounds silly now, a bit sacrosanct. Even when you have no interest in motorsport anyone can still recognise the famous phrase but apparently now it can be bought. At first I was a little saddened but then I remembered that any affection I had for this series dissipated a long time ago after I watched the cars lap an oval for the 200th time in one afternoon. The issue of sponsorship and what can or can't be bought is nothing new especially in the U.S. where every race, track, driver, car, broadcaster and even the celebratory drink has a sponsor. I just hope it doesn't find it's way to F1 or Moto GP. Of course those series are already heavily sponsored, its their lifeblood after all, but some things I hope are sacrosanct. I'll never watch the Shell Powered Monaco Grand Prix hosted by Cheesits.

Car = Mood?

Does the type of car you drive affect your lifestyle mood? Just like the weather can subconsciously shift our mood I wonder if car choice, irrespective of cash value, has a say on how happy we are. This thought came to me whilst sitting in the back of a rather tasty Mini Cooper S on a journey back from a stag weekend. As I sat in the cocooned fashion statement I couldn't help but think about the amount of time the designers must have spent in getting every detail so right that it would be impossible to be irritated or sad or depressed. The big speedometer in the middle of the dash, the oval design on the back of the seats even the little nub on the grab handle for hanging suits. It felt robust and that cheered me up bearing in mind I'm more accustomed to pokey 1.2 litre engines. And as we breezed along the motorway passing car after car I could see the look in the faces of the drivers and I felt sad. Because they looked sad. For example; there is nothing wrong with a Volkswagen Sharan but it's big and looks a bit like a hearse and from what I could gather from the driver's face, it has a kind of "it'll do" feeling about it. Now for argument's sake let's say that car, 2008 model, cost €20,000 second hand. Why didn't the owner decide to buy a second hand 2005 BMW 5-series instead? It's infinitely better. Aside from lacking massive amounts of storage space they are leagues apart and would perhaps in the long run make you happier. Other examples? Instead of a Jaguar X-type for €30k buy a Mercedes C-Class. Instead of a Mercedes R-Class for €46k buy a BMW 3 series. Instead of a Chevrolet Lacetti for €17k buy a Skoda Octavia. I believe it when owners of Ferrari's say that a simple Fiat 500 is as much fun as fun as an F430. And this made me ask why anybody would knowingly purchase something like a Peugeot 407 Coupe when they could have had a an Alfa Brera and I can only assume it comes down to knowledge. There are unfortunate motorists out there who only know how to buy a car using a calculator and the car dealerships know it. That's why a driver will emerge from a Citroen forecourt with a smile on his face despite the fact that 3 years down the line it will have depreciated horribly by which time the driver will look very unhappy. Tricking yourself into believing you're content reminds me of a metaphor a Jesuit once told me: Imagine if you had a car with 5 gears but you were only ever aware of 4 so you never used the final great gear, is it better to be in a state of "ignorance is bliss" or is it a crying shame that you will never get to use that final gear? With so many great cars available these days the latter is sad truth. So please if you're going to buy a car listen around to how others have found living with it. Look at their demeanour. Maybe just maybe everyone can find a spark in their car that makes the day a little nicer.

Why No False Starts?

It's slowly dawned on me that these days F1 cars don't seem to jump start very often. In fact the only one that springs to mind is Alonso in China this year. Why is this? In the 90's and early 2000's every race had a jump starter. You know the one; the type of driver that predicts when the lights will go out and floors it. Even if they're still red. But nowadays nothing happens. Maybe they've lost their cojones "don't want to risk a drive tru penalty do we?". Balls to that I wanna see 24 drivers inching forward at the lights a la how we drive our own cars. Or even just one nut case who assumes that if he is to jump start then he might as well do it an obvious 5 seconds before they're due to go so as the rest of the field get going Takumo Paymyway has reached the first corner showered in glory! Seriously though it makes me wonder. "Research" into this left me without any official record of jump starts but I know they're down. Another race start feature also slipping into memory is the stalled car. This would typically happen due to a messed up clutch movement and the end result was always the same: 4 or 5 stewards rushing onto the track to push the stricken car into the pits. Stalling on the grid was scary too, note Mika Hakkinen's stall in Brazil 2000. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZ-Qt9QaxYY&playnext=1&videos=eeV5j14EgFE. He cited this event as a major reason for quitting F1 that year. It doesn't look bad from the grandstand but sitting with your back to a field of car bullets shooting past must be frightening. New technology means we now have an anti-stall feature but doesn't that just make it too easy on the drivers? I don't really have a conclusion to this posting I just thought it was a feature of F1 that seems to be quietly dying out. Either that or else there's some F1 conspiracy going on. Pussies.

Silver Door Mirrors Do NOT Look Good

A short note on silver wing mirrors. In the past all wing mirrors were born equal and they were all made of some shiny metal. Note how vintage cars look right at home with such a set. Then we had black plastic wing mirrors. Then we had colour coded wing mirrors, wowwy! Then Audi went and screwed up everything by giving their fastest cars silver wing mirrors no matter what colour the car was. Now in principal this works fine after all there's plenty of good reason for a manufacturer to show how proud they are of their top models by giving them a signature. At first this detail was low key but then all the boy racers starting strapping them to their Micra's in the belief that these silvery mirrors would make their car go faster. What's worse is that after a while the option of a silver wing mirror crept onto many manufacturer's option lists and before you know it we have hoards of cars with blinged earrings on them. I'm convinced that even the owners of these cars don't know why they opted for them because they simply look terrible! Silver or chromed wing mirrors may have their place on a funky mini cooper but not on a red Alfa 147. I blame Audi for starting this mess. Vorsprung durch Technik means "lead through technology" not stupid silvery tacky plastic wing mirrors!

How Long Is An F1 Car?

A predicted procession from flag to finish failed to materialise in Budapest as a safety car period on lap 16 caught up the dominant Vettel and allowed his teammate Webber to steal victory. With a scintillating qualifying lap and impressive race pace Vettel made the most of his pole position and sped off into the distance. As those watching reaching for their pillow a safety car period ruffled things up. Vettel pitted, as did second placed Alsono but Webber chose to stay out. Or was it a choice at all bearing in mind the advantage Vettel would receive by pitting whilst the safety car was out? In the midst of this period Rosberg lost a wheel in the pits which tumbled through two pit boxes. Mechanics leapt quick enough to avoid what would have been some very serious trauma. Kubica also crashed with Sutil in a comical "didn't you see me coming?" way. But it was when the safety car was due to pull in that an obscure rule raised it's puzzling head. Apparently all cars must be within 10 car lengths of the car in front whilst filing behind the safety car. Vettel was in second behind Webber when the safety car pulled into the pits. Critically Vettel was caught napping and Webber surged ahead forcing Vettel to breach the regulation. Cue a drive through penalty and Vettel being demoted to third. At first I thought Vettel was doing his teammate a favour by allowing a gap to build so that Webber's lead over Alonso would increase once the pit stops wee completed. However; it turns out he simply didn't see that the lights were off on the safety car indicating that it was about to pull in. When Vettel emerged behind Alonso he was trapped by the Hungaroring's uncharitable approach to overtaking and Alonso's air turbulence. Hence his 1 second per lap paced was blunted. Meanwhile Hamilton had an engine failure on lap 26 and Button was well off the pace after a rubbish start off the grid. Massa finished a fine fourth. Towards the end Barrichello snatched tenth place from his old team "mate" Schumacher in a banzai move down by the pit wall. The crafty German as robust as ever in his defensive driving. Barrichello called the close call "terrible", Michael said sorry and the rest of us sat back and quietly nodded in approval for providing an exciting pass. And so Webber follows on from his subdued result in Germany by completing an unexpected and subdued win and climbing back to to the top of the championship leader board. The traditional snorefest at Hungary was pushed to one side by the magic being cast over this years championship. With a three week break till Spa Vettel will be stewing as Webber smirks.

Volvo's Are Swedish (Not)

Volvo's are actually Chinese now. Geely are finalising the last details of the purchase with completion of the sale expected by next week. The agreement marks the latest in string of manufacturers changing nationalities. Not that Ford, their previous owner, was very Swedish either. The dilution of a car firms national identity through it's sale to a foreign owner is not a new challenge. Skoda's aren't Czech they're German. Same with Bentley, Rolls Royce, Seat, Lamborghini, Mini, Bugatti. All brands that are very profitable in fobbing us the values of British regality, Italian Flair etc. If Geely let Volvo retain their autonomy then their Swedish heritage should let the brand wield its magic like it always had done. A key distinction in this $1.8bn deal is that a Geely Holding Co. is buying the brand and not Geely the car manufacturer. This means Volvo can do it's own thing in Scandinavia. So why are Geely buying it? China's getting rich. Fast. There is room for a luxury manufacturer in China hence Geely will also produce Volvo's for China in China. If "home made" cars can create a little national pride then this acquisition should reap dividends for Geely. My main concern is that Geely's truly awful safety record could damage Volvo's Global USP of being a leader in safety. Global public knowledge of Volvo slipping into Chinese hands may be enough for them to take a step back from the car dealership. Check out a typical Geely crash test: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vAN2cx2UIE. A look at their website reveals a worryingly vague approach to safety: http://www.geely.com/brands/international/Geely_FC.html. This will be a challenge in public relations for Geely as they seek to keep their Chinese identity under the radar. As the Germans have shown this can be very successfully done but Geely have the extra hurdle of bridging an unprecedented gap in brand identities with regard to safety.

What A Difference A Year Makes

Exactly 1 year ago Felippe Massa suffered a career threatening injury. Today he suffered a significant psychological one as Ferrari gave him the order to stand down for the benefit of teammate Fernando Alsonso thus ending any aspirations the Brazilian may have had of competing for this years championship. On a weekend where Ferrari finally turned their pace to points the team order scandal somewhat overshadowed what was a thoroughly impressive turn of form for Ferrari. Going into this race they hadn't won since the season opener in Bahrain and were in desperate need of a boost. At the start both Ferraris kerfuffled Vettel enough to steal 1st and 2nd off the line and hold position till the flag. Massa seemed at last to have got to grips, literally, with this years tyres but once he switched to the harder compound things seemed to unravel fast. With Massa now struggling with the new tyres and his teammate Alsonso steadily falling into target range for 3rd placed Vettel Ferrari gave the call to let Alsonso through on Lap 49. Ferrari were fined $100,000 for the coded order to let Massa through although today's result will be unaffected. Smedley, Massa's race engineeer, told him his gesture was "magnanimous" but Massa's body language suggested that magnanimity is usually a voluntary act. And the obligation to have a podium celebration simply compounded the icy atmosphere clasping the Ferrari garage. When asked about the incident at press conference Massa said everything whilst only saying these acid tinged words; "he passed me... we're working for the team". And so it goes on, first Red Bull get their teammates sniping at each other and now Ferrari and you can bet McLaren's wholesome pally pally image will soon face scrutiny on the track as well. In the end Vettel didn't challenge the Ferraris and secured third spot for Red Bull with Webber coming home a subdued 6th. McLaren will be quietly content with their 4th and 5th places which keeps them aloft in both Championships. On a day when the top performers were doing the business of wrapping up points Mercedes failed to impress on home soil by failing to score any. Although on this occasion Shcumacher and his teammate finished next to each other suggesting it may be the car itself that's causing the problems after all. Also of note were the junior Red Bull's who managed to imitate their seniors by crashing into each other on lap one. Christian Horner will be relieved he wasn't pestered about that one today. In fact the Red Bull principal seemed content to sit back and watch Ferrari Boss Domenicalli take a grilling by the BBC pundits instead of him. To be fair to Horner at least he is unequivocal when it comes to letting his drivers race each other. Although there are no team orders at Red Bull the favouritism shown to Vettel almost equates to the same thing. And so we move on to Hungary next week with the Championship table poised even sweeter now that Ferrari have turned their game back on. Whilst Massa may well feel hard done by today I'm sure he'd be genuinely pleased to see Alonso winning the title with Ferrari by the margin of 5 points which he sacrificed today.

Tickle Me Pink

Clearing out my apartment in London I decided to go for a cycle around Harrods just to soak up the extravagances one last time. The array of supercars made me wonder why I was moving back to Ireland where an Audi R8 is a serious contender for the most exotic car in the land. London is great for car sightings in general but the sheer volume of cars around today made me feel slightly unnerved, I mean there were millions of pounds worth of machinery, some painted in ghoulish colours just to really emphasise how little the owners care for financial concerns such as resale value. For example; check out the pink Lamborghini SV in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbB1RwpuTRY To be honest I quite liked the pink Lambo, after all absurdity is what that brand is all about, but you get the idea. And I can't say such excess is vulgar because everybody who saw these creatures (including me) was enthralled by the spectacle of it all. Although the souped up Porsche Panamera FABDesign was unfortunate. Here's some of the cars I saw: Ferrari F355 Cab, F430's, F430 16M, 456GT, Enzo, 458 Italia, California's, RR Cab, Spyker, Bentley Shooting Brake, Brooklands, Lexus LFA, Bugatti Veyron, Koenigsegg CCXR "Special One", Lamborghini Reventon, SV's and plenty of Aston Martins. It's all over now but if I need a dose of motoring exotica I know it's just a cross the pond in Knightsbridge where a flight would cost about the same price as a ticket for the RDS "car show".

Bentley Mulsanne

The new Bentley Mulsanne is the successor to the very elegant Arnage. By all accounts the latest incarnation is very good with Bentley having their first fully bespoke model in 80 years. However; what concerns me is that its price of £220,000 has put it on a head on collision with Rolls-Royce's new "baby" Rolls: the Ghost at £195,000. For me Bentley and RR have been classy arch nemeses' doing battle since time immemorial as each strove to define new pinnacles of luxury motoring. However I find it lamentable that RR's 2nd tier Ghost is now what Bentley must challenge and not the scalp of the almighty RR Phantom. You see if you were a wealthy man (or woman) you would go for a RR if you wanted luxury and a Bentley if you wanted a more "sporty" version of luxury. But with the introduction of the baby Ghost the psyche of buyers will shift. If the top of the range Bentley is understood to be on a par with a low class RR (can a RR be low class???) then frankly the Bentley buyers will turn towards Rolls. There's a lot of pride in these cars btw so you want to be sure as a sugar plantation that your car is numero uno. Hence by deploying the Ghost to keep the Bentley boys busy the Phantom can indulge itself as being the default luxury chariot of choice for those who can afford it. Unless, that is, Bentley find a reason to raise the price of the Mulsanne by £60,000.